How to Argue With a Pre-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #27

P=Parent
C=Child

P: What do you want for dinner?
C: I want... grilled cheese and salad and turkey fries!
P: Turkey fries? I don't think we have turkey fries....
C: Yeah!
P: What are turkey fries?
C: They're just turkey fries.
P: How do you make them?
C: You take egg and salad and turkey fries.
P: But how do you make turkey fries.
C: You take egg and put salad in it and it bubbles.
P: And that makes the turkey fries?
C: Yeah.
P: Do you need to heat it up?
C: Yeah.
P: In the oven or the toaster oven or the stove top?
C: In the oven!
P: How do you know when it's done?
C: Because you go one two three four five. And it's done!

How to Argue With a Pre-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #26

P=Parent
C=Child

C: (singing)
P: What's that song?
C: What.
P: That song you were singing.
C: Why?
P: I didn't recognize it. What is it?
C: It's just a little tiny song.
P: A tiny song? What is it?
C: It's. It's just a tiny song!

How to Argue With a Pre-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #25

P=Parent
C=Child

C: I really want to sit in the front seat.
P: You can't sit in the front seat.
C: Why?
P: Because kids sit in the back seat.
C: I sat in the front seat last year.
P: No you didn't!
C: But I really want to sit in the front seat.
P: It's safer in the back.
C: Um. When I grow up I'm gonna sit in the front seat.
P: When you grow up you'll be able to DRIVE!
C: (Thinks for a moment) I'm not gonna drive mom & dad's car. I'll have my OWN car!
P: Oh yeah?
C: Yeah. And it's gonna be BIG!
P: Like mama's car?
C: BIGGER! And it's gonna be dark blue and light blue and red and pink.
P: Wow! That's colorful! But why does it need to be so big?
C: Because. I'm gonna put my toys in it. And my race tracks. And hot wheels. And train tracks. And trains. And cars. And battery Thomas. And my blankets. And my pillow. And my crib. And my squishy pillow. And my jungle.
P: Are you gonna put grocery bags in there so you can get groceries?
C: Yeah!
P: And what about room for the dog? And your friends? Are you going to have room for your friends?
C: They'll go in the back.
P: Why won't they go on the seats?
C: Because. All my toys will be on the seats.
P: I don't think your friends will like that.
C: Why?
P: Because it would be more comfortable for them to sit on the seats.
C: But they can't. Because all my toys will be on the seats. So there won't be any room for them.

How to Argue With a Pre-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #24

P=Parent
C=Child

P: That's a jelly fish.
C: Is it made of jelly?
P: No, it's not made of jelly.
C: What's it made out of then?
P: Um...it lives in the sea and it's an animal and... I don't know what it's made out of, we'll have to look that up.
C: It's made out of jelly.