How to Argue With an Elementary-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #60

P=Parent
C=Child

C: (putting plastic sea creatures in containers in the bath) Do you think if the beetle is under water it's dead?
P: I don't know, maybe.
C: Beetles can't live under water if they're under water for a long time.
P: It's probably dead, then.
C: Not if it's a water beetle!
P: Oh?
C: Water beetles can live under water!
P: I didn't know that.
C: It's true! Actually, I just made up a water beetle. But I decided my toy beetles are in the bath so they can be a water beetle.
(Tip: matter-of-fact second graders learning all sorts of animal facts might be making some of them up some of the time!)

How to Argue With an Elementary-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #59

P=Parent
C=Child

C: Do you wear dark clothes when it's hot out?
P: Sometimes. Why?
C: Because you should wear light clothes when it's hot out. Because dark colors exhorb the heat. And light colors make the heat BOUNCE right off!
P: Wow! Did you learn all that in science class today?
C: Yup!
P: That's great that your science teacher taught you that.
C: She didn't. It was on a video we watched.

How to Argue With an Elementary-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #58

P=Parent
C=Child

P: Put your shoes on!
C: I should wear my boots in case I go Rainbow Stomping.
P: You're going Rainbow Stomping?
C: I might... try to kick a rainbow (shrugs).
P: Why would you do that?
C: Because it's raining!