How to Argue With an Elementary-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #45

P=Parent
C=Child

C: What if you broke a fish in half?
P: I don't think you could do that.
C: What if it was a shark?
P: I really don't think you could do that.
C: What if you cut the shark in half with a knife?
P: Why are you talking about violent things?
C: I don't know what you mean.
P: Talking about knives is violent.
C: (Thinks for a moment)... But, violent is a shade of purple. And knives aren't purple!

How to Argue With an Elementary-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #44

P=Parent
C=Child

C: How did dinosaurs make pudding?
P: I don't think they did.
C: Yes, they DID!
P: Oh, okay then.
C: So, how did they do it?!?