How to Argue With an Elementary-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #50

P=Parent
C=Child

C: I think I know what a crane truck does.
P: What's that?
C: Crane trucks drive around town looking for broken houses and then when they find one, they crane it back up!
P: Well, I think maybe instead of driving around looking for broken houses, the people in the broken house probably call the crane truck driver and ask them to come fix their house, and tell them their address.
C: Yeah, I think that's what they do too. And the crane trucks are driving around really slowly because they're trying to read the addresses on the houses. 

How to Argue With an Elementary-School-Aged Child (And Lose) #49

P=Parent
C=Child

C: Five and twelve quarters?
P: What are you talking about?
C: I think it's five and twelve quarters?
P: What do you mean, five and twelve quarters?
C: That's my age! Right?
P: Oh, no... you were Five and three quarters, now you're Five and eleven-twelfths!
C: Oh yeah. Eleven-twelfths-quarters...